Friday, January 19, 2007

Entrepreneur Life Journey - Love Life Lesson
Being in my entrepreneur journey for all this years,
I may be dynamic in what I’m doing in business.
But when comes to relationship,
I learn through hard time and lots of learning lesson.

How I became stronger today, is what I have been through.
Since the younger days when I started to step into the society,
I came across numbers of male friend
who would do anything just to please me and win my heart.

But I’m always looking for the better one.

When I met the ‘one’ I thought is the ‘Better one’,
I was committed 100%.

And I was badly hurt.

My last marriage has caused me emotional and financially hurt,
real bad.

It really isn’t easy to pull myself out of the mud all by myself
and try to stand up again and realized that
I was all covered with dry mud
that I have to take a long time to scrap it bit by bit
to get myself out of the dirt,
than realized that my both feet is still in the mud
and have to find some place I can put my feet on
and start cleaning up again.

I begin to study into many details what has gone wrong.

If you can relate to me,
you will be even more interested to know
what has gone wrong.
It seems all like a perfect wedding and a perfect match
But it did not last more that 3 months.

“One Marriage, Life Lesson”
is the chapter I have in mind to write all the details
why a seems perfect marriage falls apart after 3 months.
I have no idea now how I am going to put
this chapter together
because it needs courage to do so.
But having the purpose of;
by sharing how I made my mistake and if anyone
would benefit from learning from it, It will all worth it.

One very real thing I realized why relationship falls out
mostly is because of this one important
key element that is missing
‘Effective Communication’

Many stories of relationship issues happen
around us everyday.
Have you heard someone says?
~ “She don’t understand me.” ~
~ “She is so hard to please; woman is so hard
to understand.” ~
~ “He does not care about my feelings.” ~
~ “I have take care of everything in the family and
he is not appreciative and not satisfied.” ~
~ “I just can’t talk to him, he wouldn’t listen,
he will just shut me off.” ~

I’m sure this sounds familiar to most.
I travel to different countries and met different people.
We may have different color skin, different color hairs,
and different back ground.
But this one important element in relationship that is lack of
Is always the same; ‘Effective Communication’

My first question to these is:
Have you ever tell him/her exactly what you want
and how you feel? Speaking from your heart?
And Have you truly, whole heartedly listen to your
partner’s comment
with no judgment and full of compassion?

Is a real challenge isn’t it?

Communications has to be both ways.

How to share our feelings without finger pointing,
blaming and justifying?

And most importantly
How to also be able to give a calm listening ear, willing heart,
and non-judgmental attitude to listen and
acknowledge what is coming across
without speaking any comment or suggestion,
at the same time not taking it personal?

This is even tougher isn’t it?

I love this book call
“Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS”
By John Gray

I studied every thing John mentioned in his book
and think very deeply.

I realized most people I heard about
that have challenges in relationship
most of the time the biggest enemy gets in the way
before any communication could happen is call
“EGO”

Every one of us has a little friend in us name: EGO
Most of the time it gets in our way and
block our vision and our ear.

I have learn this little trick
I talk to my little Ego friend to leave me alone
because I don’t need him around
when I feel that he comes close to me

If most people could also realized that
first if we want someone to listen to us when we speak
than we have to first be the one
to be willing to listen
with a calm listening ear, with willing heart,
and non-judgmental attitude
to listen and acknowledge what is coming across
without speaking any comment or suggestion,
at the same time not taking it personal?

It does needs some effort and takes a while to practice that.
Isn’t it wonderful if everyone can speak from the heart freely
and not worry about being rejected and being judge upon?

In a bigger scale, the world will be a better place.

The major problem that causes my marriage breaks down
mainly is communication break down
Big Time

If one party try to communicate
and the other party EGO gets in the way
It just wouldn’t work.

I may be recognized as a successful entrepreneur
and business lady
And most people expect I should handle the relationship part
without much effort in the past
It just doesn't relate the same way
I felt suppressed in that relationship
When I was in it I could not see it.
But when I'm willing to step back and look at it
in a different angle,
the vision is clearer and things begin to change for the better.

Now I have learned.

“One Marriage, Life Lesson”

Entrepreneur Life Journey - Love Life Lesson